All By Myself

The person in the above creative commons photo looks very sad, sitting on that swing.  They clearly do not have small children living in their home.  As much as I love my kids, since I spend most of my time with them at the moment, I have come to really appreciate time by myself.  Especially if it is quiet, like a library should be.*

On Mother's Day, this past weekend, I went to the grocery store by myself.  While it was a grown-up chore that needed to get done, it was also amazing.  No one asked me for 18 different kind of fruit, candy, cookies or ice cream.  No one pulled on, drooled on, or otherwise messed with my clothing or hair.  No one chatted at me about random non-sequitor topics.  There was no commentary on any of the items that went into the basket.  I got myself a fancy cheese, and no one did dances of impatience while I sorted out the coupons before getting in line to pay.  I did not hear the phrase "I have to go pee!" once while shopping.
I had a lovely, and oh so quiet, walk home from the store when I was done.

It was great, despite all the usual annoyances of grocery shopping, with the bonus annoyance of getting rained on for part of the walk home.
Then, my lovely partner kept the kiddos entertained long enough for me to make a pie (lemon meringue, for the record).

So, if you have small children in your home, I hope you have another adult who regularly helps you get some quiet alone time.

In closing, here is Celine Dion singing "All By Myself".

* The library, contrary to expectations, is not quiet when you are accompanied by small children.  While they do use their inside voices, there is a constant refrain of "What is that book about? Will you read this to me right now? How many books can I take home today? What are you getting from the hold shelf?  Tell me about your grown-up book! What is that person over there looking at?  Is there story time today? I have to pee!" etc, etc, etc.

I'm Outnumbered

It has officially been about 9 months since my last post.  Considering that I am currently spending my days trying to wrangle an infant and a preschooler, it's not that bad.  Trying to remember that you are a separate being with adult interests is both harder and easier with kid number two.

A good chunk of my days are spent at local, free drop-in programs, and big munchkin has afternoon classes twice a week at the community centre.  Pretty much everything is SO MUCH CHEAPER at the community centre.  The price difference for swimming is especially stark.  Subsequently, swimming is really, really hard to get into, and we managed to do it this current session purely by fluke.

I've been spending more time on social media - Pinterest has saved my butt at dinner time more than once since the baby has been born, and I'm actually not doing too badly on this year's Goodreads Challenge.

Speaking of my Goodreads Challenge for 2016, if you are at all interested in history, go find yourself a copy of Operation Paperclip to read.  It was a challenging book to get through, but it was well worth it.  It is all about the aftermath of WWII, and the American program developed to bring German scientists to the USA before the Soviets got to them.
At the lighter end of the spectrum, if you are a nerdy geeky person as I am, try Ready Player One.  There are many, many references to nerdy, geeky things hidden in its pages.

As for other, adult media, partner and I managed to see both Deadpool and Star Wars: The Force Awakens in theatres!  Deadpool was exactly what I hoped for and expected of that character, and I'm glad the studio didn't try to edit it down to a lower rating.  

Star Wars renewed my love of the franchise.  Partner and I spent days afterwards singing "Dududunaluh! I like Star Wars!" to each other.
The big munchkin has watched Episode 4 (and I quote "Mommy, Darth Vader was very mean to those people.  He shouldn't have been so mean to them"), and I am excited for when she watches The Force Awakens and sees her first female Jedi.
Of course, I may then have to find or make a Rey doll for her when that happens . . .

On that note, I shall leave you with the trailer for Star Wars: Rogue One.

Children's Television

So, television.  In general, on the internet, television for young children can be a contentious issue.

That being said, most parents I know (including myself!) appreciate the brief periods of quiet that a television program can bring to one's household.  Sometimes a parent just needs two minutes of blessed quiet to maintain their sanity for the rest of the day.

My munchkin is still pretty little (toddler/preschool age), so while we don't watch a lot of television, there are extra levels of crazy in the programming designed for kids in that age range.  Seriously, sometimes you wonder where the writers and animators are getting their drugs.

TV Shows that Munchkin Seems to Enjoy and Don't Make Me Completely Nutso:

• Octonauts
  This is a BBC series about a crew of animals who travel Earth's oceans in their crazy underwater living quarters/ship, helping ocean creatures.  They end every episode by singing a song with facts about the creature they helped, with video of the real life animal in the background.  It is cute without being saccharine and educational without beating you about the head.  My only issue with this show is that while there are two female crew members (one of whom is the ship's mechanic/fix it lady) the show mostly revolves around three male crew members.  It would have been awesome to have more episodes featuring Dashi & Twig in more central roles.
• Bubble Guppies
  A Nickelodeon show featuring 6 little mermaid kindergarten children (or guppies).  Each episode they learn about something which is triggered by what the guppies see on their way to school (eg. running into a friend who falls and breaks their tail leads to a whole episode about doctors and medical related things).  I love that all 6 guppies seem to get equal face/air time, in addition to having an even gender split in the characters (the three girls are Molly, Deema and Oona, and the three boys are Gil, Goby & Nonny).  The songs are really catchy, and my only real beef with the show is that there are so many freaking nautical puns.
• Peg + Cat
  This is a joint Canadian-American production.  The main point of the show is to demonstrate mathematical concepts to little ones, but does so fairly subtly (the characters ask viewers to help with counting, finding shapes, or doing simple addition or subtraction problems - in order to solve a dilemma in the show).  A fair amount of singing is involved, and I love that the show is presented so that it looks like everything is drawn on graph paper.
• Zack & Quack
  The whole thing is based in a world that is essentially a giant pop-up book.  Zack, a little boy, and his friend Quack, a duck, are theoretically the show's heroes, but they rely heavily on next door neighbour Kira, who carries a paper fixing kit with her wherever she goes.  This show is seriously adorable.
• Fraggle Rock
  I know, I know, this show has not had a new episode since 1987, but it is readily available on DVD or Blue-Ray (we have the first two seasons on disk).  It started in Canada with the Jim Henson company, and translates better than some other stuff from that era, since it was intended for international audiences right from the beginning.
  It is just as good as you remembering it being when you were little.  The only thing that doesn't hold up as well is the green screen effects and some of the out in the real world scenes (whoa, the early 80s!), but everything else is still pretty awesome.  You get the lovely nostalgia factor, and your kid gets to watch high quality programming.  

TV Shows that Munchkin Seems to Enjoy that Hurt My Brain

• Toopy & Binoo
  This is a Canadian series about a cat (who doesn't talk) and a rat (who doesn't freaking shut up) and their adventures in their 'whimsical' world.
  The writers of this show have smoked ALL the drugs.  It was nominated for a Gemini award, but I can only imagine it was because the show's staff shared their stash of the good stuff.  Seriously, this show is all kinds of WTF.
• Mike the Knight
  This Canadian show means well, and some of it is cute.  That being said, Mike is a bossy, know-it-all little brat who doesn't ask for help until everything is about to bite him in the butt.  He's mean to his sister because she is a wizard and not a knight.  He treats his dragon buddies like slaves.  He is bossy at his other friends, unless he needs something from them.  In short, Mike sucks.
• Thomas and Friends
  This is not the Thomas the Tank Engine of years past.  Thomas in his 2010's incarnation is similar to Mike the Knight - the trains are whiny, selfish little bastards.  You will watch this and yearn for drunk Ringo or George Carlin from the 90s to return and kick their annoying train butts.  Kids, unfortunately, love them because trains.
• Trucktown
  Much like teenagers boarding a bus in threes, I can't even with this show.  It is full of terrible stereotypes (especially gender related, especially on the rare occasions that the show's lone female character is allowed to make an appearance - boys like to smash! And play rough!).  I don't understand how an award winning children's author is behind this mess.  Seriously, dude wrote The Stinky Cheese Man and is now doing THIS?? 

If you have any recommendations for keeping a small child entertained for a few moments so that the parent in the house can get things done without said small person underfoot, shout them out in the comments!

Random Thoughts From A Two-Year-Old

Small children are wonderful, terrifying, strange little creatures.
Here is a short and random sampling of things that our resident tiny human has said and/or done in the last few days.

In the middle of bed-time stories (David's Father by Robert Munsch), she looks over at partner, who is fully clothed at the time and says "Papa, your armpits are hairy."

*Fart noises* *laughs hysterically*
Later, in a conspiratorial whisper: "Papa, I like farting on Mama"

Insists Papa has to shave, so that she can grow a beard herself.

"What did you do at daycare today?"
Proudly: "I bite [other kid at daycare]!"

Toddlers Confuse Me

Sometimes I wonder how the human species survives the toddler years.

Babies are cute and adorable little blobs who give you gummy smiles and generally do their best to endear themselves to you.  It is a matter of survival, and they know it - they need you to feed and protect them.

Toddlers are defiant little blighters who need your help to survive but refuse to admit it.  As they are tiny humans who are still learning social mores, they do completely irrational things, and often get away with it.

For example, it is considered perfectly normal for a toddler to eat their dinner wearing nothing but a bib and their undies.
Also normal? Biting, hitting, kicking and screaming to express their displeasure with something.  These displeasing things can include daddy touching your shoes, having a broken cracker, eating the last grape, or not being allowed outside in a snowstorm wearing only your pajamas and snowboots.

I may have sprained a key portion of my brain related to thought in the last weeks.  Possibly on the day she laid down on the sidewalk and refused to walk, but screamed "I BIG GIRL" when I offered to carry her and then tried to bite me when I tried to pick her up anyway.  Her plan was apparently to live on the sidewalk forever.

Then she got distracted by a cement truck that drove past.

I've suddenly lost my main point in writing this, but I think it is that while I love my child dearly - and it is hard not to when she wraps her arms around my neck and says "I wuv you mama" - sometimes, her actions, words and attempts at logic hurt my brain.

Books! Literature! Thank goodness we live near a library!

A friend (Hi My Adorable Smalltown Life!) recently posted an update on her 2013 Goodreads challenge.  She exceeded her goal by quite a bit!  It got me thinking about my own reading habits this year, since I've been back at work.

For those of you not in the know, Goodreads is a website where you can track what books you read, and it will offer you recommendations based on your read lists.  You can list whether you own a book or not, list of the date of when you started & when you finished, assign books to different shelves, which you can make up yourself, and recommend books to other Goodreads members on your friend list.
Essentially, it is like a Facebook for literary nerds.

I joined Goodreads at the tail end of 2012, so I really only have data for 2013.  I've been a heavy reader since I've learned to read.  I think it helped that my mom was an elementary school teacher - there were always books around the house.

Anyway . . . back to the original paragraph of the post.  Clearly, going back to work has not slowed my reading habits significantly.  In fact, since I read on my public transit trips home every workday, and sometimes on the morning trip, depending on how awake I am, I may be reading MORE than I was when I was on leave.

Here are some stats, if you like:
Number of grown up books read: 30
Kids books: I only tracked 6 - they were interesting and I wanted to make sure I remembered them for munchkin
Total pages (kids & grown up books): 10,645

My favourites:

• The Long Earth series (only the first two are out) which is co-written by Stephen Baxter and Terry Pratchett.  It is a really interesting, and humorous, science fiction romp which tackles parallel Earths.
• Peter V. Brett's Demon Cycle: the third book was released this year, and the library came through on this one for me.  In case you are interested in looking into them, the first book is called The Warded Man, followed by The Desert Spear and then The Daylight War.
• David Waltner-Toews: I read two of his books this year, The Chickens Fight Back, and Origin of the Feces and both were great.  He is a Canadian veterinarian who has spent his career looking at diseases and how they spread between species, and between people.  Really neat stuff, told with a good sense of humour to boot.
• On the parenting end, the advice in Discipline Without Distress by Judy Arnall really seemed to fit with my parenting goals.  If you have a wee one, I would recommend taking a gander at it to see if it clicks with your family as well.

I'm always looking for something to occupy me on my transit trips around the city, so please feel free to make some recommendations to me!

Literature: Current Toddler Faves

Our little one loves story time.  We are very grateful for this, as both partner & I are both big readers (and may, based on the heaviness of the boxes when we moved last, have a book 'problem').

She has her own little bookshelf in the nursery, which we have populated from a variety of sources.  We also visit the library every week and let her pick out a book or two.

Since I know that some of you have small children in your lives, here are some selections that are currently popular with our almost two year old (all images from Amazon.ca), in case you need some story time inspiration.

Little Blue Truck by Alice Schertle: Lots of animal and vehicle noises to shout.  Don't tell her, but our little one is getting this book for Christmas.

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Eric Carle: This is a classic for a reason.

Chicken Cheeks by Michael Ian Black: This book is about bums.  Animal bums.

Moo, Baa, La La La! by Sandra Boynton: Most of the books by this author have gone over really well with all the toddlers I know.

Red Hat by Lita Judge:  This book has no words, so it is great for parents since you can change up how you tell the story

A Dog is a Dog by Stephen Shaskan:  This book is also great for parents, thanks to the unusual twist in how a classic sort of story is told.  The copy from our library has been obviously well loved by many neighbourhood children.

Sheep in a Jeep by Nancy Shaw (also, Sheep on a Ship): These silly sheep can't navigate any sort of vehicle successfully

If you have any book suggestions that the kiddos in your life love, feel free to share!  We are always looking for new books to read.

Media Portrayals of Women: Creating Perception?

There were some interesting articles in the news the last few days on how the media portrays women.

The first one is in regards to films based on the theme of survival and how they portray men & women differently.  Female survivors tend to be presented in sci-fi/fantasy settings, but men are consistently portrayed in a 'based on a true story' way:
http://www.thestar.com/life/2013/11/18/hollywood_movies_paint_survival_as_a_mans_job.html

The second is about recent research which shows that men show just as much relational/social aggression as women, but this is not portrayed in the media in the same way as 'mean girls':
http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2013/11/18/the_myth_of_the_mean_girl.html

The third is in regards to an upcoming by-election, where two women who have both written about economic theory/worked in journalism are facing off against each other:
http://www.thestar.com/opinion/commentary/2013/11/18/torontos_mcquaig_and_freeland_are_running_while_female_mallick.html
This article is an opinion article, and I'm not overly fond of this writer, but she does present a decent commentary on how female politicians are still portrayed in Canada.

I know that these are all from the same newspaper, but I don't think that makes these ideas or opinions any less relevant.  Since my daughter has been born, I've found that I'm looking a lot more into gender politics and these sorts of things.  Like any parent, I want to figure out a way to help improve the world for her - and I think a lot of these things are just as damaging to men (for example: the stereotype that boys aren't allowed to express sadness or hurt except in very specific ways, like physical aggression).

Since I was already looking at the question of whether the media is presenting reality or creating a perception when it comes to certain gender items (or possibly both? creating a perception is leading to a reality which is enforcing the perception?), these articles peaked by interest, especially since they were all published within a few days of each other.

On a final gender note, the paper also did a recent follow up on the story of baby Storm, whose parents decided not to let anyone know the physical gender.  I've actually met the mom and the kids a few times, and they were lovely, and are truly doing what they feel is best for their children (just like the rest of us).

http://www.thestar.com/life/parent/2013/11/15/remember_storm_we_check_in_on_the_baby_being_raised_genderneutral.html

Yoga Class Reasons

Here are the reasons I think I need to start going out to yoga classes again, instead of mostly doing my home practice:

1.  It is really, really hard to do pretty much any yoga pose with a one year old hanging off your knee & saying "Mamamamamamamama!"

That's mostly it really.

Baby Vs. Toddler

Friends of ours recently had a baby of their own (Eeee! Squishy new little baby!).
This has led me to do some reflecting on the differences between new little squishy babes and older babes/toddlers.  Some things are definitely easier, and others are definitely harder.

Some examples:
New babies eat approximately every two to three hours, around the clock
One year old babies are capable of sleeping through the night with minimal wakings

New babies are pretty easy to feed - boob or bottle and done.  Admittedly, it is every two to three hours, and there can be spit up, but that's generally easily wiped up.
Older babies need actual food - not that much of it ends up in their mouths.  However, you do get to see what different foods look like on your floor, mushed into the table, and smeared through another person's hair.

Most new babies are able to fall asleep pretty much anywhere.
Older babies are too aware of the world to just fall asleep at the drop of the hat.  There's generally a bit of a fight, or a lot of fussing until they pass out if they don't believe that it is bed time.

New babies mostly communicate through crying.
Older babies can actually communicate in simple terms.  You can teach them sign language, they can say simple words, and if all else fails, point and grunt.

New babies only cry if they have a genuine need, like hunger, being tired, or being in need of a fresh diaper.
Older babies cry for a variety of reasons, including wanting to wear two different pair of shoes at the same time, having a broken cracker and a wide variety of other items that only make sense if you are younger than four years old.

The lovely 'new baby' smell.
Freshly bathed older babies smell just fine.  Other times . . . they can definitely be a new kind of stinky.

New babies can't control their little bodies.  There is a lot of adorable flailing.
Older babies can control their bodies for the most part.  This means that things in your home will get messier, and possibly broken.

New babies can't control their little bodies.  This means they sometimes startle or hit themselves with their flailing - most often in the middle of the night.
Older babies can control their bodies for the most part.  They love to use their bodies to be helpful!  Wiping things with a cloth, carrying things for you, or even sweeping with a small broom are *fun* for them.

New babies can't move around on their own.  You can put them down on a blanket, take a moment to use the washroom and have them still be in the same place when you return.
Older babies definitely move.  Once they start rolling, it is all over.  When they start walking? Well, you won't be able to pee in peace for a long time.

In short, babies are wonderful and frustrating, no matter their age.

Pet Peeves

My original plan for today was to write about how much I love the farmers market.  I do too - I really like going to the market, and seeing what is in season, and tasting local cheeses, and all that fun stuff.
My fridge, as of this morning's trip to the market, may contain 100% more nectarines, strawberries, blueberries, potatoes, carrots, onions and fancy sausages for the meat-eaters in the house than it did prior to the trip.  There may also have been some raspberries that never really made it into the refrigerator.

However, later in the day, I encountered one of my major parenting pet peeves: the male spouse performing childcare = babysitting phenomena.

This really tees me off.

When my spouse is looking after our child, he is not babysitting.  He is parenting.  Period.
He contributed to half of her DNA.  He is equally involved in taking her to the park, dropping her off at daycare, putting her to bed, giving her baths, and all the day-to-day parenting items.

If I go out to enjoy myself as a grown-up for a few hours, he is not babysitting our daughter.  He is parenting our daughter.  Almost no one would say that I was babysitting our child if my partner decided to go out for a few hours.

I did call out the person who used the term babysitting in reference to my partner tonight (and not in a rude, jerk way), but it just really . . . argh.

If you are a parent that I know, it is a pretty safe bet that you are an awesome parent, who doesn't 'babysit' your own child - you parent your child, regardless as to whether your spouse is immediately available or not.  Now we just need society to start treating you like the awesome parent you are, regardless of your gender.